Speaker 1: 0:01

Let's be honest, leadership can truly feel like an endless tug of war. On one side, you've got your deadlines and meetings, the needs of the team and then also the needs of your senior leadership, and on the other hand, you've got family, personal goals and your own well-being, family personal goals and your own well-being, and too often it feels like the only way to win at work is to lose at life. But here's what I believe. I believe, through trial and error and trying different methods, I truly believe that our lives are made up of seasons. Some seasons demand more at work, while others demand more at home. The key is not about balance. It's 50-50. It's about integration. The goal is to lead well without sacrificing yourself in the process. When we sacrifice ourself in the process, that's when we burn out and that's when we feel like we're losing.

Speaker 1: 1:12

On today's episode, we're going to dig into how you can integrate your work and life in a way that protects what matters most. We'll talk about how to ground yourself in your values, set non-negotiables that act as anchors, establish boundaries as a leadership skill, and use practical integration practices to lead with clarity and confidence. So let's get into it. How do you lead without losing yourself it? How do you lead without losing yourself? Now, I mentioned that I don't believe in work-life balance. I don't believe in the 50-50. It could be just because I've never experienced it in my life, but balance suggests it's 50-50, like an equal distribution, and I don't see that as being realistic. Now some people may say you know, my balance is not 50-50, it's 60-40,. Whatever that looks like, I just choose to call it more of an integration, because I feel like integration acknowledges shifting seasons. For example, when I'm talking about seasons, you may have a busy quarter at work. It doesn't mean that your family disappears. It means that you get intentional about how you show up. But for the most part, you may be showing up more at work. I have it in my business. I have seasons where work picks up, you know, to a point where I have to. I get to, I'm changing the way I speak, I get to spend time doing what I like doing at work, which means that I have to be more intentional about how I show up in my personal life, with my family, with my friends and definitely with my faith. So one of the first things you want to do to get to this integration, this place of integration.

Speaker 1: 3:27

Get clear on your values, and this you want to do, no matter what. Get crystal clear on your values, because your values are the foundation. This is what is going to guide you and direct you. This is what is going to help you determine if you should be saying yes or if you should be saying no. Get crystal clear, and an example could be I mentioned faith. My faith is important to me. My family is important to me. My health is important to me.

Speaker 1: 4:00

I would encourage you to write down your top three values. Write them down. I would encourage you to write down your top three values. Write them down, like if I said mine was you know, faith, family, health, right? If that's true, I have to ask myself am I leading in alignment with these Meaning? Am I holding space for these things in my life? That's time and energy. Am I leading in alignment? And I can tell you. It's easy to say, oh yeah, you know, but when you really go back and look at it, you may find that the answer is no, because what happens is is you? You start to skip If I say that I'm going to dedicate the first 30 minutes of the day to reading scripture or my spiritual time and you skip a day, and you skip a day, and you skip a day and before you know it, you've literally skipped a week. So you have to be really intentional about holding space for the things that you say are your values. They are your foundations, and here's a couple of ways that you do this, because just saying it and writing them down isn't enough. You have to have things in place that's going to help you to make sure you are protecting what's important. After you write down your values, you're going to define your non-negotiables. Your non-negotiables are kind of like guardrails that protect your values. We're going to keep getting more, deeper and deeper, right.

Speaker 1: 5:43

So originally I said faith, family health, let's say, for instance, with my family specifically, family dinner may be a non-negotiable. I am going to have a sit down dinner with my family three times a week, and the reason why I use three times a week that's something that I've used before, when my kids were in high school and they play sports. We couldn't sit and have a meal every day because we had a lot going on between practice and games and you know and things like that, but at least three times a week I said that we needed to sit down together as a family and eat. That's a non-negotiable. And be descriptive, not just family dinner. How many times a week are you going to sit down for a family dinner? If it's exercise, how many times a week are you going to exercise? If it's spiritual time, how many times a week and how long are you going to do spiritual time If it's daily, 30 minutes a day when you first wake up? That's what you need to write down. You have to be descriptive and specific about what it is that is your non-negotiable. If you sit in a gray area when it comes to your non-negotiables, then you're not going to achieve them. If you say family dinner and you're not saying how many days a week you want family dinner, then it may not happen. Be really specific about what it is with your non-negotiable After you create your non-negotiable, because your non-negotiables are the things that's going to anchor you in busy seasons.

Speaker 1: 7:30

Let me just say this In those seasons where you have to do extra work, take on more projects, or it could be a matter of you're in a season of growth, you're at a certain level in leadership and you are trying to grow to the next level, and then it may require you to take a class. Take on additional projects, whatever that looks like. Take a class, take on additional projects, whatever that looks like In that season. You need something that is going to anchor you so that you don't go too far to one side or the other, and that is going to be your non-negotiables. Once you have your non-negotiables so we've established our values top three values Now we have our non-negotiables that are our guardrails, that are protecting our values.

Speaker 1: 8:18

The next thing you want to do is set boundaries, and boundaries is a leadership skill. This is sometimes, when we talk about boundaries, some people look at it as a bad thing, but I actually think it's a great thing. This is the thing that helps protect our priorities, and not only that, it helps everybody know where you are. This is a great way to keep everyone in alignment. And, just as another side note, you wanna make sure that you are modeling these behaviors, because we want our team to model these behaviors and anybody else that looks up to us. So it could be your kids, it could be people that you're mentoring. You want to make sure that you're demonstrating these. So, for instance, for me, I'm going to give you some real ones.

Speaker 1: 9:08

Family was and still is a value, one of my top three values and for family dinners, when I used to do the family dinners, where it was three times a week, one of the things that I set in place as a boundary was no emails after a set time, because that is dinner time. Another thing that I set in place that we had a device-free zone. So you know, one of those zones was no phones at the dinner table. We were not allowed to have our phone because that defeated the purpose for me. So this was a time that I was able to sit down with my kids and have dinner and have real conversations. Make sure that you have boundaries.

Speaker 1: 9:59

Another thing is protecting your prayer time. For me, protecting my prayer time, my prayer time is first thing in the morning. That's what I do first thing when I wake up. I set aside that time. I wake up at a certain time so that I know I have enough time set aside to do what it is that I want to do first thing in the morning and making sure that I have things in place. So I have listen. You have to do it worse. I have things set up on my phone where I can't access certain apps before a certain time, because part of my time is in the Bible and part of it is on a daily Bible app that I have, bible app that I have. So I have to make sure that I'm not going off into Instagram, linkedin, having those things in place where, if I click on it, it tells me, you know, it's not time for me to access the app. It has been really helpful.

Speaker 1: 11:08

Think about the things that you need to put in place in terms of boundaries. That is going to help you to protect those non-negotiables, because those are your priorities. Think about what it is that you want to do. Think about what that looks like for you, because this is extremely important. We talked about identifying what those values are, setting those non-negotiables to protect those values, and then the other thing is having boundaries in place that are going to help you stay in alignment or protect your non-negotiables.

Speaker 1: 11:44

Okay, the last thing I want to mention is some integration practices and tips that you may want to lean into. The first thing is seasonal awareness understanding what season you're in. Ask yourself, what season am I in? Because if you already have an idea of what season you're in, you know that you're going to have to be more intentional and more diligent than maybe in other seasons. If I know that the beginning of the year is an extremely busy time of year for me, then I know that I have to be on top of things. I need to make sure I am diligent about making sure that I'm protecting the things that I need to protect in my life.

Speaker 1: 12:32

The other thing is use your calendar like calendar alignment. I've gotten so much better and I'm pretty good at setting aside a time on my calendar my faith time. I don't have to do that. That's first thing in the morning, but I've identified what days of the week that I want to do my walking, because I don't walk every single day. So the days of the week that I do my walking, I have my calendar set up where I don't take calls before a certain time, just making sure that you do whatever it is that you could do in order to stay in alignment. And if you don't have a lot of flexibility with your calendar, you have a lot of flexibility with the time that you wake up. Flexibility with your calendar you have a lot of flexibility with the time that you wake up. If I know I have an early meeting that I cannot move. Then I just wake up earlier and I push everything up.

Speaker 1: 13:26

The other thing is energy management. This is really beneficial. When you understand the times of the day, the times of the month, like that your energy is high, like for me, I know my energy is high in the morning. That helps me determine how I schedule my day. There are certain tasks that I schedule in the morning because I'm more alert. You know what I mean. But there's also certain things that drain my energy and I know after I do those things I'm going to experience is a lot of calls. Then I know by the end of the day I need something that doesn't take a lot of energy, because I just don't have it. I have to be really mindful about what I schedule after those calls and I like to bundle my calls because, like I said, I get drained, so I like to get them all done and then at the end of the day I schedule something that doesn't require as much, or something that gives me energy. That I find gives me energy in doing.

Speaker 1: 14:49

Another tip delegation and support, and this is not just from a leadership perspective at work. This is period, period, right? So making sure that, first of all, you're not trying to carry everything yourself. If it's something that your team should be doing, then make sure that you are delegating it as appropriate. But the same applies at home. If you are at home and you have kids and other people living with you, are there things that can be delegated? Are there things that they can pick up, especially in those seasons where you have a lot going on, those seasons where you have a lot going on?

Speaker 1: 15:33

The last thing I want to say and this is extremely important and I've mentioned this before is micro moments of presence, making sure that you are present. Even 15 minutes of full presence can shift everything. I remember when I really started doing this with my kids, because I felt bad in those seasons where I wasn't able to spend a lot of time. But the reality of it is is that I realized there were sometimes that me and my kids would spend an hour together but I wasn't really present and sometimes they weren't really present. But making sure that you have those micro moments of presence and this could be sitting down and having a 15 minute conversation where you both are present and this has done wonders for my relationships. I have family members that I call and we can talk 10, 15 minutes and catch up and we're good to go, but it's the biggest thing is that I was present. They were present. We were fully present in that moment, making sure that you have those micro moments of presence. There's a book and it's called the one minute manager, and I kind of think about that from a work perspective because it talks about how you go through and you do these, these touch points and these praises with your, with your team. It doesn't require two hours of meeting, it doesn't require as much time as we think it requires, but it does require that you take the initiative and that you are fully present in that moment when you're having a conversation with whoever it is that you're having a conversation with. So those are the integration practices and tips that I wanted to share with you.

Speaker 1: 17:33

But just keep in mind, you don't necessarily have to achieve balance. It's okay if you don't achieve balance. Make sure that you have defined your values, you have set your non-negotiables and you have your boundaries in place to protect everything, and you have your boundaries in place to protect everything. Once you do that, I feel like you're going to feel so much better because you know that you have spent time with the people that are important in your life and you've done the important things at work. And just understanding that sometimes there's going to be times where you're going to dedicate more time to work and there's going to be some times where you have to lean more to personal, to yourself, and don't feel guilty about that either. Just understand that there's going to be some seasons where it'll go back and forth and it'll balance itself out in the end.

Speaker 1: 18:38

But make sure that along the way, you are dedicating time to the things that you need to be dedicating time to and making sure that you do not lose yourself, regardless of what season you are in. So, once you set those values, choose your top three non-negotiables and share one with either a team or a family member either with your team or a family member and just keep in mind that work-life integration isn't about perfection. Isn't about perfection. It's about clarity. It's about accomplishing what you need to accomplish in the season that you need to accomplish it in, and leading without sacrificing your personal life means knowing your values, protecting them with non-negotiables and honoring the season that you're in.

Speaker 1: 19:35

All right, that is it, and if you need any help or you want some one-on-one coaching, I encourage you to check out the Leadership Shift that is signalpartnerscom. Slash the Leadership Shift. This is a one-on-one coaching experience where I meet you where you are and we meet for six weeks. I provide you with the tools that I have, but also with strategies and techniques to help to get you where it is that you want to go as a leader. I thank you for joining me, because I know that there are many podcasts out there, and if you got any value from this podcast, please remember to give us a five-star rating and share it with another leader and then also send me a message. You can send me a text message if there's something that you want me to talk about that I have not shared yet, and also I have the Ask Me Anything episode not shared yet, and also I have the ask me anything episode, so if you have a leadership question, you can shoot that over and I may answer it on a future podcast. Talk to you soon.